I don’t know who came up with the phrase “Terrible Twos,” because with my three kids, age three has always been much worse than two. I was reminded of this today, when my three year old daughter had her first humongous public meltdown. It happened like this…

This morning, I needed to get some things from my favorite store, Target. I love going to Target. There is a Pizza Hut/Taco Bell snack area up front, and I can grab a soda to sip while I shop. Usually, I get a sugar cookie for my daughter, and she sits sweetly in the cart, smiling at strangers, waving at old folks. It’s a nice outing. Not today.

About halfway through the shopping, she decided to throw a big screaming fit. It was really magnificent. On the International Tantrum Scale (based on how many strangers would stop and stare), it was probably a 9 out of 10. There was crying, whining, screaming, falling on the floor, scratching, bleeding, hair stuck to snot, kicking… No vomiting, though. That would have made it a 10.

I will spare you the rest of the little details, but let me share some of the things I learned from today’s Tantrum at Target:

• Age three is more terrible than two, because a three year old is heavier, more wiggly, and can cause more damage during a tantrum.
• The first time a child has a huge tantrum at the store, it will be unexpectedly crowded, even though it’s a Monday, and people should be at work.
• The more difficult your child is being, the more people will stop their carts directly in your path, blocking your way.
• The ear-splitting shrieks of an angry toddler would make a highly effective torture device.
• The ear-splitting shrieks of an angry toddler would also make a highly effective birth control device.
• Chanting “this is not my child” to yourself while you wrestle the kid and try to drive the cart around the oblivious morons parked in the middle of the aisle does not help to block out the screaming noise.

I’m sure some of you parents can relate to this experience. It’s one of those things that we all go through with our kids, right? Do you have any favorite tantrum lessons you’d like to share?

I have never been a big fan of Dora the Explorer. I don’t like to complain, but when Dora first hit the scene, I wanted to like her! I thought it sounded like a great idea to have a young Latina heroine solving problems and speaking Spanish! But right away, I noticed a couple of things I just couldn’t get over.

First of all, why doesn’t her shirt cover her belly? Isn’t it bad enough having to see grown-up women baring their tummies all over TV? Do we have to see it on preschool programs? I’m sure the animators made a conscious decision to leave her belly exposed, because it couldn’t be an accident. I mean, how many frames do they have to draw to make a single episode? Can’t they just draw her shirt a little lower? I guess it’s supposed to be cute, but the more I see it, the more annoying it is.

Secondly, why does she always shout? To me, the dialogue on the show seems so loud. Unless Dora and Boots are deliberately whispering, it sounds like they’re yelling. And then, they urge the viewers to shout at the TV! “I can’t hear you! Say it louder!” Or how about “Swiper, no swiping! Swiper, no swiping!” Stop!

I didn’t think Dora would last this long, but she’s still everywhere.

Don’t even get me started on Bratz!

Yo Gabba Gabba is one of the few children’s programs that I can actually enjoy with my kids. It reminds me of Sesame Street and The Electric Company from when I was a kid.

Unlike some of the other meaningless junk cartoons, Yo Gabba Gabba is actually fun and educational. It took me a couple of episodes to “get it,” because it’s different from anything else I’ve seen, but now I see why the kids love it so much! We sing and dance together to songs like “Don’t Bite Your Friends,” and “Party in my Tummy!” Once you get over the “this is so weird” phase, it’s a blast.

One of my favorite parts of Yo Gabba Gabba is the special “Dancey Dance” segment. This is where a special guest actor or celebrity teaches the characters — and us — how to do a special dance, like the “Twirly Whirly” (Nikki Flores) or the “Puppet Master” (Elijah Wood), and other special moves by Laila Ali, Sugarland, Sean Kingston, and others. The dances are simple and fun for the kids, and having a real human person on the show makes it more relatable for adults. Plus, I’m not much of a dancer, so these simple steps are perfect for me, too! There are also special music segments, featuring fun bands like the Aquabats and the Salteens, doing some very perky, peppy toe-tapping tunes.

Quite simply, Yo Gabba Gabba is the freshest, hippest new kids’ show out there, and if you’d like to check out some videos and get more information on Yo Gabba Gabba, visit my Yo Gabba Gabba page at Squidoo.