I have three kids of my own, and although I love them all dearly, they do have their moments. My first baby had trouble sleeping. He had allergies and acid reflux, which we didn’t get diagnosed until he was 15 months old, because the pediatrician kept telling us he’d grow out of it. “Stop breastfeeding him and he’ll sleep through the night.” “Take away the pacifier, because he can’t find it, and then he can’t get back to sleep.” “Just let him cry.”

That first baby is almost nine, and I still shake with fury when I remember what that stupid doctor put us through. Thankfully, I finally (I know, I should have done it sooner, but I trusted the doctor…) took him to a specialist and got things taken care of. It was nice to finally get some sleep! But I digress…

The point of this post was not to recount my old grudges.

Actually, some of our friends are just now having babies. We’re having a mini baby boom in our little circle. And even though I really want everyone to be healthy and happy, and I hope their babies are sweet little bundles of joy, there’s a snarky little part of me that hopes those kids throw some big tantrums and wake their parents up at all hours of the night. Just to be fair.

So there you have it: GeekMom’s dark side. Be afraid.

Here is something my kindergartener said to me recently. It made me laugh, so I wanted to share it.

GeekBoy: “Mommy, do you know how I could tell the baby was awake?”

GeekMom: “How did you know, Punkin?”

GeekBoy: “I heard her through the baby ther-monitor.”

I was talking with another mom (name withheld to protect the un-cool) yesterday, and she said she had asked her favorite babysitter where Hollister is. She’d been noticing a lot of the young people wearing shirts from Hollister, and figured it must be a popular place to visit.

The teenager (a very sweet 18 year old) told her that Hollister is not a vacation destination. It’s a clothing brand and store.

Oh. hee hee.

The other mom and I decided it must be one of those hip shops at the mall with the really loud music. Maybe they have great clothes, but I’m not going to wheel my stroller in there. I think that’s the idea.

Just out of curiosity, I checked out the Hollister site. The shop is divided into two sections: Dudes and Bettys. What, no section for 30-something Geek Moms? I am sooo not “with it!”