The Time I Saw A Pile of Poop at Walmart

If you know me, you know I really don’t like shopping at Walmart. I prefer Target, but since I need to be thrifty, I end up at Walmart at least once a week for the basics.

On my most recent trip to the Mart, I made my circuit through the aisles, hugged my favorite greeter, and made it to the checkout. It was a typical shopping trip.

Until I left the checkout for the exit.

Just 10 feet from where I had paid for my stuff, there was a pile of poop. When I say “pile of poop,” let me be clear. It was not just a turd. Not a dung nugget. Not a dingleberry. Not a gooey smudge from somebody’s shoe.

It was a full dump.

And it looked like it either came from a large dog, or a human being. For a second, I considered stopping to snap a photo, but decided I couldn’t hold my breath long enough, so I pushed my cart past as quickly as I could, without looking like a freak.

So in lieu of a photo, I’ll describe it to you. It was a full dump, semi-coiled, well formed, deposited directly on the store floor. It was partially covered by a piece of paper towel, with a whole roll of paper towels nearby. It was unattended. No signs or warnings had been posted. No “Wet Floor,” or “WTF! Poop!” to guide shoppers away from the scene. I wondered whether the store personnel were away gathering special supplies. Maybe there is a secret human-poop cleanup protocol.

As I drove away from the store, I wondered lots of things.

What made that poop? Dog? Human?

Why was it left there?

If it was from a dog, why was a dog in the store? Service animal? Pet? It was very near the exit doors. And even if a dog had done it, I thought any responsible dog owner would have picked it up, right? RIGHT?!

So… Why would a person poop there? Toilet emergency? It wasn’t too far from the restrooms. Still, wouldn’t a reasonable human have cleaned up his or her own poop? Who just takes a dump on a public floor and leaves it there? Unless it was protest poop!

Anyway, it was pretty disgusting. And that’s coming from a matter-of-fact mother of three who deals with some epic shit on a daily basis. But it left me with more questions than answers. And I haven’t been back to Walmart since.

Minecraft Toys at Target

I live in a small Colorado town that does not have a Target store. During the two years since moving here, I’ve made a couple of trips to the nearest Target, which is in New Mexico. It’s not convenient, but I can get there if I need to.

My Creeper daughter at Halloween
My Creeper daughter and ninja son, at Halloween

Recently, I took my three kids on a Target trip so they could shop for Christmas gifts. They each had $15 to spend on each of the other two siblings. I wanted them to spend some time thinking about what to give, rather than what they hoped to receive.

At first, they didn’t know what to do. They were excited to have money to spend, but weren’t sure what to buy. I encouraged them to have conversations, spend time chatting, to get some ideas.

When we got to Target, we headed for the toy department. Imagine our great surprise when we found a small selection of Minecraft toys!! We knew Minecraft toys were available online, but we didn’t know you could get them at Target! We were so excited!

I forgot to snap a photo of the display, but here are the Minecraft toys we saw:

  • Creeper and Enderman small plush toys
  • Minecraft foam Pickaxe
  • Steve minifigure
  • Creeper minifigure
  • Enderman minifigure
  • Large Creeper plush toys with sound effects

There were lots of other kids crowding around the Minecraft merchandise, so we chose our toys and got out of the way. I have no doubt that the Minecraft section sold out quickly! We were there before Thanksgiving, and I can’t imagine they lasted past Black Friday.

So if you’re lucky enough to live near a Target, you might check for Minecraft toys. We also saw some t-shirts, but were disappointed that there weren’t any Minecraft LEGO sets.

Minecraft 6 Inch Figure – Vinyl Creeper

Find figures and mini dolls at Target.com! Your “minecraft” fan will love this 6 vinyl … [More]

Price: 24.99

 

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Educational Robot Toy – Science Gift Idea!

My daughter saw this solar robot kit in our Hearthsong catalog, and she is hoping Santa will bring it for Christmas. Ever since she saw the movie Wall-E, she’s wanted her own robot!

This one is a solar powered robot that can be configured into 14 different shapes. It includes parts that allow it to move on land and/or water. And it does bear somewhat of a resemblance to Wall-E! It’s $31.98 at HearthSong.

From the description:

Our solar-powered pal can assume 14 different modes, ranging from comical to educational, including a wagging-tail dog, running beetle, walking crab, surfer, and speedster. Yet it asks only for direct sunlight.

Here’s a video that shows how the robot works.

I’m kind of hoping Santa brings this robot for my daughter for Christmas. And maybe an extra one for me!

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George Takei’s Amazon Product Reviews

George TakeiGeorge Takei is Emperor of the social networking universe, from Twitter to Facebook and Amazon.com!

Wait. What? Did I just say “Amazon.com?” That’s not a social network! But George Takei is making it social by writing hilarious product reviews and sharing them with all of his fans and followers!

Here are a few excerpts from some of Takei’s reviews.

From George Takei’s review of the Matrix Zorb Human Hamster Ball:

Oh myyy. Friends, you haven’t experienced Newton’s Third Law of Motion until your Human Hamster Ball collides with a semi heading the opposite way. I ricocheted like an eight ball and flew several hundred feet, then bounced from car to car until I finally came to rest somewhere along Rodeo Drive.

From George Takei’s review of Bacon Shaped Bandages:

Not to pork fun at an injury, but nothing strips the pain away like meating friends out dressed like this. “That’s sow wrong, George!” they squeal. But fat chance they let such a pig idea go. In fact, they often rip it off quickly–after giving me the cold shoulder.

From George Takei’s review of Canned Unicorn Meat:

Unfortunately, I found this unicorn meat brand to be quite similar to spam, both in texture and blandness. I’d been hoping for that zestier kick that comes from the rump cuts of other mythical and fantastical creatures, such as griffins or centaurs (for the latter, serve only the back half of the creature with guests, or it gets awkward).

To read the rest of his entertaining reviews, head over to George Takei’s reviewer page on Amazon.

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Playstation 4 Reveal

Yesterday at the E3 Expo in Los Angeles, Sony revealed the next generation of Playstation gaming console: the Playstation 4. It has a parallelogram profile, and a black finish that is divided into glossy and matte areas by a blue line. The PS4 package includes a new controller, sensor bar and headset.

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Here are some highlights from the Sony press event:

  • Playstation 4 will not require online connection
  • Sensor bar will not be “always on”
  • Sony will not impose new restrictions on used games
  • CD-based games can still be re-sold, traded or shared
  • Playstation Plus (approximately $5 per month) will be required for online multiplayer games (such as Call of Duty)
  • PS4 controller includes Share button for uploading gameplay to Ustream
  • PS4 bundle retail price will be $399

Got $399 burning a hole in your bank account? You can pre-order your Playstation 4 right now!

Brilliant Balance Bikes

If you have a youngster who wants to learn to ride, this is a great first bike! No greasy chain, no pedals to confuse the matter. Just wheels, a seat, and a developing sense of balance.

I’ve seen some kids in my neighborhood using these cool balance bikes. They didn’t exist when I was learning how to ride a bicycle. I had a second-hand two-wheeler with wobbly training wheels. I wish I’d had one of these.

Your Choice – Boot Scoot Balance Bikes 2-Models 4-Colors

Now, kids learn to ride on bikes without pedals or chains! Why didn’t I think of this?! No greasy chain, no pedals to confuse the matter. Just wheels, a seat, and a developing sense of balance. If you have a youngster who wants to learn to ride, this is a great first bike!

Woot is featuring these bikes today, for almost 50% off. Go check it out!
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Woot Adds Tool and Garden

generator-wootI’m a big fan of Woot.com, the popular one-day one-deal shopping site. I’ve purchased several items from various departments of Woot (including home.woot and shirt.woot). Today, Woot announced the addition of a new department for tools and garden supplies: Tools.Woot.com.

Lest you think tools.woot is the same as home.woot, here is an explanation for you:

There are a lot of ways to look at it. You could say Tools & Garden is about building your space and Home is about how you live in that space. You could say Tools & Garden sells hard stuff and Home sells soft stuff. You could say Tools & Garden sells discarded avocado pits and Home sells custom oil-paint portraits of your dolls, but in that case you’d be wrong.

That generator is today’s deal at Tools and Garden, so if you need one, go get it. The deal only lasts for one day. That’s how we geeks woot. Cheers!