I’ve been awarded Mother of the Year! It must be true, because I saw it on the internet… Well, okay. I’m not really that great of a mother. How bad is it that my idea of a nice Mother’s Day would be to spend it alone, without my kids? (I’m half-serious.)
Okay, that sounds terrible. But before you judge me, I dare you to walk a mile in my flip flops, wearing my baggy “yoga pants” (mom code for “it’s too hot for sweatpants, but I have to cover up my unshaven legs”), a faded and spit-up stained maternity shirt (even though you haven’t been pregnant in years), and bad bed head, with three kids pulling on your collar and hanging onto your arms and repeating an unsynchronized and dissonant chorus of “mom mom mom” in your ears until you can’t hear yourself think… Whoa! Deep breaths.
I know I’m not the only one out there who could stand a little quiet time.
One of my real Supermom friends sent me a link to a personalized Mother of the Year video, and I had to share it with my fellow moms, geeks, and everybody out there who has a mom. Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers out there, Super and less-than-super. Someday, we’ll miss the “mom mom mom” noise, and all the other messy, fun, unpredictable stuff that comes with motherhood. And just for the record, I love my kids more than life. I’d just like to have the bathroom to myself for a few minutes. 🙂
It may come as a shock for new mothers, the way life starts to revolve around poop. From Day One, a baby’s health is measured in part by the poops he produces. And it doesn’t stop when you bring the baby home…
No, that’s just the beginning. Some hospitals send mothers home with log sheets, to make it easier for parents to keep track of all the diaper action. Not only do the diapers have to be changed and bottoms wiped, but the frequency and consistency of the poop needs to be observed and acknowledged.
Of course, this is a good thing to do. Baby bottoms need to be kept clean. Parents need to bond with their babies and build relationships of trust. Babies depend on their parents to tend them with love and concern. Poop needs to be monitored, because certain characteristics can indicate illness or other trouble.
So if you’re about to become a mom, don’t worry. After the baby comes, you’ll probably think and talk about diapers more than current events, movies, or anything else. Just remember that this is normal. Motherhood is not for wimps. And it’s totally worth it!
I love this “Life Lesson” figurine from TLC/Discovery Channel because it’s so true! I never get to go to the bathroom by myself. Even if I close and lock the door, I have little people standing outside, talking to me through the door and poking things underneath it for me to see.
I know I’ll miss it all someday, though, and when they’re grown and gone, I’ll wish for their little fingers sticking through the space under the door, just to get my attention.
Gratitude journal: My kids love me so much that want to be near me, even when I’m on the toilet.