My daughter is 6 years old. She is under the impression that aging corresponds with “getting bigger.” At her age, that’s true!

On the other hand, my husband and I joke around that I’m shrinking. I’m only 5 feet tall, and the last time we marked our heights on the wall, I was 1/4 inch shorter than last time. I tell my kids it’s because they’re wearing me down as they get older.

Anyway, my sweet baby girl gave me her thoughts on the “getting bigger” vs. “shrinking” processes my body is going through. Here’s what she said:

Daughter: “Mom, I think you’re all done getting bigger now.”

Me: “Really? Ok.”

Daughter: “Yeah! And now you’re shrinking!” <giggle giggle giggle>

Me: “I’m shrinking?!” <hahahaha>

Daughter: “Well, except for your this part –” <opens arms wide to point at my midsection> “YOUR TUMMY!”

Go ahead and laugh. I may be losing height, but for the record, I’m also working on reducing the “tummy” area. Aren’t kids hilarious?!

Stephen Colbert, Jimmy Fallon, and friends

With the recent popularity and/or infamy of Rebecca Black’s YouTube video “Friday,” I got to wondering whether there are songs about every day of the week. The short answer is “yes,” and I’ll provide names below. However, there are also good reasons you’ve never heard some of these songs. Worse than “Friday?” You be the judge.

Sunday: “Sunday,” by Nick Drake, is a good Sunday morning groove. Quiet, but not a lullaby. Acoustic guitar, fairly peaceful, pleasant, vanilla. Kind of like white noise, but with more pitch. It’s a bit “meh.”

Monday: “Monday, Monday” is a classic weekday song by The Mamas & the Papas. And to my ear, it’s preferable to “Manic Monday,” by The Bangles.

Tuesday: “Tuesday,” by Yaz. This one doesn’t do anything for me. But maybe you’ll like it. There aren’t as many Tuesday-titled songs to choose from, compared to other days. Maybe Tuesday is just uninspiring to songwriters.

Wednesday: “Wednesday,” by Tori Amos. If you listened to Tori in the 90s, you might be expecting an angsty wail on Wednesday. But this track is quieter, with little bits of waltz and some fun piano riffs.

Thursday: Well, I take back what I said about Tuesday being uninspiring. There are even fewer songs about Thursday! Here are two for your consideration. This one, “Thursday,” by Jim Croce, I’d actually listen to. This one, “Thursday,” by Youngblood Brass Band, is not my bag, baby. Maybe Rebecca Black needs to write a new Thursday song. Did I really just suggest that?

Friday: You’ve already heard “Friday,” as Rebecca Black sings it. I don’t even need to link it here. Instead, I’ll post a video of my favorite version of “Friday,” as performed by Stephen Colbert on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon! The good thing about this version? It’s hilarious, and it makes me smile every time I watch it. The bad thing? It gets that darned “Friday” song stuck in my head…

Saturday: “Saturday,” by Fall Out Boy, is an upbeat contemporary pop sounding song. Good for afternoon frisbee, I think. For later in the evening, you can’t beat the classic “Saturday Night,” by the Bay City Rollers. It’s not a fantastic musical composition, but you can’t help singing along to the “S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y NIGHT!” part, and it also helps you remember how to spell “Saturday.” Best enjoyed in the company of friends.

Did I miss your favorite day-of-the-week song? Please leave a comment and share!

Well, here in Colorado, we had an amazingly warm December with a green/brown Christmas. I knew we’d get our winter weather eventually, and it has arrived during the last few weeks. It’s beautiful, as long as we don’t have to work outdoors. My kids have had some snow days lately, and today they were back at school, despite their hopes that the six inches of fresh snow would cause another cancellation…

Snowy trees in the front yard

Today, my husband worked from home, so he didn’t have to drive on the snow and ice. On the other hand, I had to drive my kids to and from school. The neighborhood roads are still covered with several inches of leftover, frozen slush, topped with the fresh snow we got last night. My minivan is pretty reliable, but it’s not all-wheel drive, and there’s a bit of a snow barrier at the end of the driveway, piled up by the snow plow. Can you picture the scene? Here’s what happened…

I was leaving to retrieve my third grader this afternoon, and as I went out the door, had this conversation with Hubby… Enjoy.

Me: I’m leaving. I’ll be back in a few minutes.
Hubby: What are you wearing on your feet?
Me: Birkenstocks. I’m not getting out of the car.

Hubby: What if you get stuck in the snow?
Me: Then I’ll call you to come rescue me. Don’t jinx me!
Minutes later, I got stuck at the bottom of the driveway and had to call Hubby to dig/push my van out of the snow bank.

We had a giggle over this… Hope you laughed, too. Stay warm!

Billy Twitters Book

I was strolling through the children’s section of our local public library, and I spotted the spine of this book on the shelf. I thought, “is that really a kids’ book about Twitter?!” and grabbed it to take a closer look. As it turned out, it’s not a book about the Twitter “fail whale,” but a story about a boy and a whale.

Still, I thought it was pretty funny, and worth sharing. If you’re familiar with Twitter and the infamous “fail whale” that is displayed when the service is unavailable and/or over capacity, you will appreciate the humor in the coincidence.

Twitter Fail Whale by michperu via flickr

Hi. My name is Heather, and I’m a Facebook addict.

You know how it is when you first join Facebook, and you go a little bit crazy with everything? It’s fun, it’s novel, and you click “Like” and “Share” and you “Poke” your friends all the time? You know, right? It’s not just me. (That’s what I tell myself…)

So it’s normal for Facebook newbies to go nuts at first, with the games and sharing features. But you know there are a few people who take the craziness to an extreme. They never outgrow those noobish tendencies, and they drive people crazy by flooding the news stream with their stuff.

from theoatmeal.com

That is one way to suck at Facebook. And the folks over at theoatmeal.com have cleverly illustrated several more, in user-friendly, very shareable cartoons here: How to Suck at Facebook. So check them out and be sure you send them to all your friends so they show up in the news stream! And by the way, I’m not going to stop poking my friends.

Well, our whole family has been pretty much quarantined in our home for the better part of a week, with suspected H1N1 “swine flu.” We’re okay, so don’t panic. It’s not fun, but it’s manageable. It comes with a fever, so nobody can go to school or work, which means even my hubby has been stuck in the house.

Today, it finally got to him. After trying to sit on the couch and rest, puttering around the house a bit, doing some computer work from home, and despite his aches and cough, he couldn’t take any more family togetherness.

“Honey, I’m going to Ace [our local hardware store]. I’m going crazy with cabin fever.”

I wonder what he’ll come home with. He didn’t really need anything from the hardware store, but that’s where he wanted to go. I suggested he look for an outdoor black light to illuminate the fluorescent spider webs he has draped across the front of our house.

Who knows what he’ll find? It’s kind of like a candy store for a guy who hasn’t been out of the house in days, smothered by wifely TLC and home-from-school kids who are completely bored. Or like a doughnut shop. If I could run away to escape cabin fever, maybe I’d go to Krispy Kreme!

I know he appreciates what I do at home while he’s at his nice downtown office with grown-ups who blow their own noses and such. But maybe our week with the flu will remind him how lucky he is when he gets to leave the house to go to work. AND that he has a wife who stays home to take care of the kids and all their goop.

I love you, Sparky!

P.S. Avoid influenza! Wash your hands! Just a little Public Service announcement.

I’ve been awarded Mother of the Year! It must be true, because I saw it on the internet… Well, okay. I’m not really that great of a mother. How bad is it that my idea of a nice Mother’s Day would be to spend it alone, without my kids? (I’m half-serious.)

Okay, that sounds terrible. But before you judge me, I dare you to walk a mile in my flip flops, wearing my baggy “yoga pants” (mom code for “it’s too hot for sweatpants, but I have to cover up my unshaven legs”), a faded and spit-up stained maternity shirt (even though you haven’t been pregnant in years), and bad bed head, with three kids pulling on your collar and hanging onto your arms and repeating an unsynchronized and dissonant chorus of “mom mom mom” in your ears until you can’t hear yourself think… Whoa! Deep breaths.

I know I’m not the only one out there who could stand a little quiet time.

One of my real Supermom friends sent me a link to a personalized Mother of the Year video, and I had to share it with my fellow moms, geeks, and everybody out there who has a mom. Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers out there, Super and less-than-super. Someday, we’ll miss the “mom mom mom” noise, and all the other messy, fun, unpredictable stuff that comes with motherhood. And just for the record, I love my kids more than life. I’d just like to have the bathroom to myself for a few minutes.

Somehow, I’ve escaped this meme for the last few years, but I saw it tonight on Attack of the Show (G4 network). Now it’s stuck in my head, and I wanted to share the madness — I mean, FUN! Big fun!

It’s a catchy Finnish polka tune (“Ievan polkka,” performed by Loituma), and a looping animation of Inoue from Bleach, spinning a leek. Yes, a leek, the thing that looks like a huge green onion. So, anime plus Finnish polka plus leek equals… Awesome! Enjoy!

First of all, let me say that this story involves throw-up. If you are averse to hearing such a story, please skip to the next post. I don’t want to make you sick! If you’re a parent, chances are you’re over it, so read on…

When it comes to parenting, Hubby and I have lots in common. All the important things. However, one of the places we differ is in the treatment of sick children. Specifically, children who are vomiting, or who are about to vomit. For instance…

Not long ago, one of our young children was about to be sick. She’s not old enough to go into the bathroom and take care of it herself, but there was no doubt about what was going to happen.

Sensing the imminent upchuck, Hubby jumped backwards, with a graceful agility I did not know he possessed. He nailed the move, and landed safely outside the splatter zone.

In the same second, I — almost without thinking — lunged toward my daughter. I got my hands cupped under her pale face just in time, and caught the mess! Yes, in my bare hands. I’m a mom. I’ve been a mom long enough to know it’s much easier to wash my hands, arms, and/or shirt, than to scrub the sofa, floor, and/or carpet!

Once things were cleaned up and under control, I pointed out the difference in our reactions to my husband. I asked him why he jumped out of the way, leaving me to jump in. He said, “I don’t know. It’s just a reflex, I guess. And you’re a vomit magnet.”

“Vomit magnet.” Next time I’m revising my Mom resume, I’ll have to add that to my list of talents and responsibilities. Head Cook, Nurse, Chauffeur, Tutor, Vomit Magnet. Yeah, that’s impressive.

Okay, I know I don’t usually write about politics here, but I couldn’t pass this one up. Check this out! How perfect is this Mario – Luigi Campaign Tee for a Nintendo-loving geek like me?

Here’s part of the endorsement statement from the pundits at ThinkGeek:

We wanted to introduce you to our favorite candidates in the running for the ’08 election: Mario and Luigi Giordano. They own a local pizza joint where everything’s homemade, just like in momma Italy. Face it. Almost all America’s problems can be solved with a generous application of mozzarella. And pepperoni. And especially mushrooms.

I love it. I’m seriously thinking about buying it.