Since I finished graduate school and became a full-time mother (nine years ago), my life has become extremely cluttered. There are school papers, coupons, tiny Lego blocks, snack wrappers, odd socks, unlabeled CDs, and mountains of laundry… I could go on, but I won’t. Everything from the important things, like my kids, to the dirty, dusty detritus of life, it all takes up space in my home and in my head.
The point is, with a wonderful husband and three dear children to take care of, and so many truly important codes, passwords, dates, and numbers to remember, why do I still have old, useless bits of trivial information taking up space in my brain? I don’t have room for extra stuff! It makes it really difficult to find what I’m looking for!
For instance, say I’m looking for that very small screwdriver. You know the one I mean? It’s very thin, and it has a standard shaped end, which makes it perfect for unlocking the bathroom door when there’s nobody in there. Oh, yes. This happens sometimes! It’s quite mysterious.
So the first place I look is the kitchen junk drawer. I’m looking for the special little screwdriver, but what do I find? Everything else we’ve stashed in there since we moved into this house! Rubber bands, vegetable seeds, lip balm, marbles, tape, pens and pencils, an old checkbook, super ball, assorted coins, little rocks, and various things with sharp edges that find their way under the fingernails. Ouch! No screwdriver.
Sometimes, that’s how I feel when I’m trying to think of something important, like… my own phone number. Yes, I forgot my phone number. Picture me on the phone, leaving a message for an acquaintance. “So if you could call me back, that would be great. My number is… Four… I’m so sorry, but I’ll have to call you back with my phone number.” I couldn’t believe it. After that, I wrote my number on a sticker and kept it inside the kitchen cupboard, so I would never have to sound so stupid again! (At least not while leaving a phone message.)
I might not feel so bad about having forgotten my phone number, if the data taking its place were actually important, but they’re not. It’s just a bunch of stuff that I’ve stashed in there for the last 35 years. I’ll show you. Let’s give the old noggin a shake and see what falls out…
- High school locker combination (35-9-35)
- Names and colors of all four Wiggles
- First telephone number, from 30 years ago
- Memorized lines from Monty Python and the Holy Grail
- Ex-boyfriend’s birthdate
- Mnemonic phrase for the 12 cranial nerves (On Old Olympus’ Towering Top A Family Very German Viewed Armadillos Hop), but not the actual names of the nerves
- and more…
I’d say my brain is in need of a good sorting out, but I guess that’s life. Maybe I’ll need this stuff someday, like if I’m in a coma, and my family will be sitting around the hospital bed, talking quietly. Some young doctor will say, “Oh, by the way, do you know a good mnemonic for the 12 cranial nerves? I’m having trouble remembering them.” And one of my brilliant relatives will say, “Of course! On Old Olympus’ Towering Top…” And then, I’ll wake up! It could happen.
So, what’s in your intellectual junk drawer? Care to share your most useless bits of trivia with us? 
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You’re in my brain!
Actually, I am known among a cirlce of friends as the go-to person for useless information. I’m even considering a domain for it! And chances are if I don’t know the answer already, I know where to find it. Weird, huh? I’m the only one in our house who knows where anything is (usally). I know the last 5 phone numbers I’ve had – all the way back to grade school, and I remember my grandparent’s phone number from the house they lived in almost 20 years ago. I still have trouble remembering my own. Usually number things I can’t remember, but I have a knack for remembering what people wore thelast time I saw them – even it it was ten years ago.
Andrea’s last blog post..It’s coming…
My mind is filled with all kinds of junk. From random math equations to random animal trivia. But the most weird one for me is the random riddles and jokes that surface.
Shireen’s last blog post..5 Cat Myths and Truths
This is one of those “I thought I was the only one!” kind of things until GeekMom came clean. I too have plenty of bandwidth for useless information.
The useless information falls into two categories – relative and absolute.
Relative includes things like obscure hockey stats, and anything that can easily be looked up.
Things like my locker combination from 6th grade (Ha! I beat you by 3 years! 36-0-36) would be an absolute.
What’s even worse is, I remember other people’s useless trivia too!
Elliott – 21st Century Dad’s last blog post..Dad’s New Job – Update
Don’t feel so bad. I don’t know my own phone number. Why would I, I never call it.
Technology Slice’s last blog post..Free Instant Credit Report
I’ve had my cell number for years, but there’s no way I can remember it! My husband calls it ‘information overload’, and I choose to believe him…
kaleen’s last blog post..6 great WordPress theme designers
My goodies are:
How to use the VI unix command line editor (not quite useless, as that’s how I still build sites to this day)
Macgyver’s first name (Angus)
How many Elmo plushies can be stuffed into a CD-Rom device before it breaks (3)
Enjoy,
Barbara
Barbara Ling (aka Owlbert)’s last blog post..Viva the Easter Broccoli Bunny! Gaining the Edge and Managing your blog audience’s expectations – Day 4 of 5
Memorized lines from Monty Python and the Holy Grail
That is essential information for life. You never know when you are going to need to the air speed of an unladen swallow. Not to mention important survival skills one learns in dealing with vicious rabbits. The movie also teaches you to see the ugly truth about repressing the people. I could go on and on but it would be too perilous.
Jim – Just a Guy’s last blog post..Vista Virgin
It’s great to know I’m not alone!
@Andrea: you have a gift!
@Shireen: riddles and jokes can really come in handy when you need to make small talk, or entertain people!
@Elliott: did you notice how similar our combos were? Weird! BTW, cute photo of you with the baby pack!
@Tech: that’s my story, too!
@Kaleen: I have my cell number programmed as my header, so it’s there whenever I look at my phone. Doesn’t work if I’m on a call, though.
@Barbara: Thanks for the reminder about MacGuyver. Now I’m sure I’ll never forget his first name.
@Jim: Quite right, yes. African or European? Very small rocks! A DUCK! (stop that! stop that! sorry…)
Useless bits and pieces is my specialty! My garage is cluttered with unfinished craft projects from ten years ago (or older!) and my brain is cluttered with todo lists from two years ago (which no longer apply since we moved, anyhow) and useless daydreams I should be writing down. I can never seem to remember my current phone number or address or zip code…but I blame that on how often we move!
Beth’s last blog post..A Change in my Blogging
Leave or I will be forced to taunt you a second time.
The sad thing is I could do this all day. My girlfriend and I have been known to have entire conversations using nothing but lines from movies.
Jim – Just a Guy’s last blog post..Vista Virgin
Wow, this makes me feel soooo much better! I could have sworn that no one else had their ol high school locker combination (and grade school BFF’s phone number, too) stuck in the part of my brain where other things should be safely stored — things like, oh, the date of my wedding anniversary!
An old McDonald’s commercial from th 70′s is in my mental junk drawer. If you could say all the ingredients in the Big Mac in less than 30 seconds you would get one free.
“Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun”… Phew! Can still do it. Was too shy to try it to get my free burger though. So really not worth all the practicing I did!
Cindy Lietz, Polymer Clay Girl’s last blog post..Sanding Polymer Clay Beads. How to Make ‘em Shine!
I can’t say I remember my HS locker combo, but I just added more junk to my mental drawer yesterday when I looked up that 1 KG = 2.2046 LBS.
The girl that sits next to me couldn’t believe that I was able to find it as quick as I did; she really couldn’t believe that I had this info in my purse.
B Carter’s last blog post..Guide to Beating Addiction
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