First of all, let me say that this story involves throw-up. If you are averse to hearing such a story, please skip to the next post. I don’t want to make you sick! If you’re a parent, chances are you’re over it, so read on…
When it comes to parenting, Hubby and I have lots in common. All the important things. However, one of the places we differ is in the treatment of sick children. Specifically, children who are vomiting, or who are about to vomit. For instance…
Not long ago, one of our young children was about to be sick. She’s not old enough to go into the bathroom and take care of it herself, but there was no doubt about what was going to happen.
Sensing the imminent upchuck, Hubby jumped backwards, with a graceful agility I did not know he possessed. He nailed the move, and landed safely outside the splatter zone.
In the same second, I — almost without thinking — lunged toward my daughter. I got my hands cupped under her pale face just in time, and caught the mess! Yes, in my bare hands. I’m a mom. I’ve been a mom long enough to know it’s much easier to wash my hands, arms, and/or shirt, than to scrub the sofa, floor, and/or carpet!
Once things were cleaned up and under control, I pointed out the difference in our reactions to my husband. I asked him why he jumped out of the way, leaving me to jump in. He said, “I don’t know. It’s just a reflex, I guess. And you’re a vomit magnet.”
“Vomit magnet.” Next time I’m revising my Mom resume, I’ll have to add that to my list of talents and responsibilities. Head Cook, Nurse, Chauffeur, Tutor, Vomit Magnet. Yeah, that’s impressive. 
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{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }
lina 02.28.08 at 12:29 am
Vomit Magnet - how hilarious and how apt for us moms.
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Nissa 02.28.08 at 9:25 am
That’s great! But I have to say, I’ve never cupped my hands for the kids to hurl into. I’m more inclined to let them throw up over my shoulder, down my back, all in my hair…eww.. maybe I’ll try the hand cupping thing!
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Beth 02.28.08 at 10:23 am
lol…yep, caught it in my hands, on my shirt, in my hair…you know, whatever’s convenient! Vomit Magnet, though…definitely the glamorous side of being a mom, isn’t it?
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GeekMom 02.28.08 at 10:41 am
Yes, if you can get over the “Fear Factor” element of the hot slime, it is the easiest to clean up. Of course, sometimes you just can’t get there in time, or your hands are full. I’ve also used the “shirt as bucket” method. Ah, motherhood…
Alison 02.28.08 at 12:07 pm
Lol, there’s nothing quite like child vomit too. Once you’ve dealt with that, nothing’s scary anymore!
yoshi 02.28.08 at 4:50 pm
Oh my that’s hilarious, but you know, why is that always the case? It seems to be true with almost any couple I know. LOL
I myself would probably jump out of the way as well. hehe. So funny!
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Christy 02.28.08 at 9:29 pm
I have caught vomit in my hands, too. And all down my hair and shirt for that matter. It was an automatic lunge forward moment just like you. While Brae was crying saying “This is so disgusting” about his vomit. Such is life.
Lynne 02.29.08 at 6:43 am
Yep, I do believe that is automatically included on your resume as soon as you become a Mom.
Elle 02.29.08 at 9:40 am
I have done this maneuver as well. In public. In the middle of Sam’s Club, having to stop pushing the buggy while catching. Both Max and I then wheeled into the LAdies’ Room for cleanup and then home.
My hubby used to grab Max, and instead of heading somewhere with hard surfaces, he’d point him over the rug, or the sheets on the bed. I had to lecture a couple of times about the difference of the magnitude of cleanup for the bathroom counter vs. the carpet. Ugh.
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Melinda 03.02.08 at 1:04 pm
OMG, so true. Husbands just are not equipped to deal…to say the least. I think mom’s resumes should definitely be considered as impressive as anyone else’s…my goodness, what we have to handle on a daily basis!
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Mike 03.02.08 at 7:14 pm
Priceless! Some dads (myself included) possess that innate desire to jump forward and cup their hands under their kids imminent expulsion…
Of course, the best part is that feeling you get when you just pulled off the hand-cupped-expulsion-catcher move in the middle of some place like a park, where the mess would have been better off finding the ground than your hand.
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Cole Kelly 03.06.08 at 10:24 am
I think I developed the cupped hands method halfway through at about 6 months with our second kid. With our third - it’s just normal. I actually caught a little spit up from our 6 month old during a dinner party and kept on talking… funny what you get used to!
Even the oldest brother got into the act this morning - he caught some spit up in his hair and didn’t freak. “Oh BABY!” he said followed by, “Dad, can I get in the shower?” You betcha….
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mikey777 04.03.08 at 6:40 pm
I feel your pain, as I too am a Vomit Magnet. Every time our daughter gets sick to her stomach, it’s dad to the rescue. Guess I shouldn’t have given her the fried rice after all….
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